Sick and funny jokes

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Offline Eat Sack

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« Reply #15 on: December 06, 2012, 11:26:52 PM »
uhuh...
I'm A Freaking Cry Baby When I don't Get My Way

Offline PS

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« Reply #16 on: December 06, 2012, 11:34:40 PM »
god damned gingers


Offline scooped away

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« Reply #17 on: December 07, 2012, 12:09:30 AM »
Lady: Do you smoke?
Man: Yes
Lady: How many packs a day?
Man: 3 packs
Lady: How much per pack
Man: £10.00
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack cost £10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at £900. In one year, it would be £10,800 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: If in 1 year you spend £10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at £162,000 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you smoke?
Lady: No
Man: Where's your fucking Ferrari then?
:lol:


cigs are £10 there now?

Offline PS

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« Reply #18 on: December 07, 2012, 12:12:30 AM »

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."


Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth.
Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep."[/b]

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.[/b]

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea ! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea.[/b]

I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"[/b]

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"[/b]

[/font][/color]

Offline Saltydog

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« Reply #19 on: December 07, 2012, 04:34:26 AM »
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera? Phil Ming.
You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit!

Offline PS

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« Reply #20 on: December 07, 2012, 04:43:32 AM »
What do you call a Samoan guy who fell off a sofa?
Guywhofelloffasofa

Offline PS

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« Reply #21 on: December 07, 2012, 04:49:26 AM »
Two pretzles are walking down the street.  One was a salted.

Offline Twisted Gut

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« Reply #22 on: December 07, 2012, 05:39:20 AM »
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London , He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel. The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door. The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing? "The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so fuck off and wait for a camel!"   
He told me I cut my steak like a serial killer, so I whispered 'What makes you think this is steak?' While I stroked his thigh with a knife...

Offline PS

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« Reply #23 on: December 07, 2012, 05:46:57 AM »
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London , He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel. The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door. The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing? "The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so fuck off and wait for a camel!"   


 :lol:


This is great.  I'll have to remember this one.

Offline DeathsDoor

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« Reply #24 on: December 07, 2012, 11:13:33 AM »
bunch of potato-eating, wife-beating meanies.


Im Irish, and i dont beat potatoes or eat my wife!
I tried to commit suicide one time...

I won't be trying that again I nearly fucking died.

Offline Eat Sack

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« Reply #25 on: December 07, 2012, 01:53:44 PM »
bunch of potato-eating, wife-beating meanies.


Im Irish, and i dont beat potatoes or eat my wife!


Thats why you're in the bad books, gotta chow down bro :munch:


What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?




Cliffe(very old but fuck you i dont care) :flick:
I'm A Freaking Cry Baby When I don't Get My Way

Offline DeathsDoor

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« Reply #26 on: December 07, 2012, 01:57:34 PM »
Im not even gonna comment on that joke..........................................  :rolleyes:
I tried to commit suicide one time...

I won't be trying that again I nearly fucking died.

Offline Eat Sack

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« Reply #27 on: December 07, 2012, 02:45:25 PM »
What do you call a russian man with 3 testicals?

Whodya Nikabollokov
I'm A Freaking Cry Baby When I don't Get My Way

Offline PS

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« Reply #28 on: December 07, 2012, 04:07:32 PM »
bunch of potato-eating, wife-beating meanies.


Im Irish, and i dont beat potatoes or eat my wife!


*hides potatoes, cabbages, and DD's wife.





Offline PS

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« Reply #29 on: December 07, 2012, 04:08:51 PM »
What is a Jew's biggest dilemma? 


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