Fed Up With These Ads? Create a Free Account! Or go jerk off for a while, beautifull ladies no?!

Author Topic: Worst sex you have ever had....  (Read 5510 times)

DW

  • Head Cheese

  • Offline
  • *****
  • Master Baiter and

  • 11463
  • Personal Text
    I Don't Get Any
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #15 on: November 02, 2013, 02:54:57 AM »
I've had a few near misses........surprised that a few of them didn't put me off all together.
I tried being anorexic once,

I could binge like a motherfucker, but I just could'nt do the purge part.

Fuck Off

  • Tech Admin

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 7737
  • Personal Text
    if (like avatar) { echo "Click Globe Below"; }
    • If you like my avatar...
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #16 on: November 02, 2013, 05:29:05 AM »


DW, the rotten orca was a nice plot twist as I was suspecting a dick to pop out of those panties.  :tongue:
Just after reading that again.
I see the poetic and surreal undertones of my statement about gays as symbolic metaphore to current society.
In which we all got an arm shoved upon our precious arses....

DeathsDoor

  • Über Admin

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 32525
  • Personal Text
    Knock Knock
    • Death And Reality
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #17 on: November 02, 2013, 07:17:55 AM »
What FO said... gutted I am that didnt happen :cry:

DW

  • Head Cheese

  • Offline
  • *****
  • Master Baiter and

  • 11463
  • Personal Text
    I Don't Get Any
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #18 on: November 04, 2013, 06:31:29 PM »


DW, the rotten orca was a nice plot twist as I was suspecting a dick to pop out of those panties.  :tongue:

Welllllll..........
 
As a few of you know, I spent a great deal of time in the US Navy, on my 3rd cruise, we pulled into Sri Lanka, picked up a little cutie in a bar, and every so often she would say, I have a problem."
 
My first time in this country mind you, I had been to the Phillipines, Thailand, Singapore and Hong Kong. (Before the bloody brits let China have it back)
 
No idea what she meant about a problem, though, cheap beer and rot gut whiskey had my mind marching to a beat of a different drum.
 
Got this little thing back to my hotel room, again she stated, "I have a problem." I stated, no problem, let's get naked.
 
Off came her panties.....out popped a willy..........I said...."I we have a problem".
 
Told her/he I was going down to get some more beer, instead, I went to the hotel lobby, paid my hotel bill and went straight back to the boat.
 
Problem solved.
 
Discovered from a ship mate who had been to Sri Lanka a few times, that when a bar girl (as they are called there) tells you they have a problem, they are telling you that they are in fact what are called benny boys. Transgenders.
 
I rode 3 other ships that put in at Sri Lanka......never stepped foot on their soil again, Arthur C. Clark can have the country all he likes.
 
And that's not even the worst that has ever happened to me.
« Last Edit: November 04, 2013, 06:33:16 PM by DW »
I tried being anorexic once,

I could binge like a motherfucker, but I just could'nt do the purge part.

DeathsDoor

  • Über Admin

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 32525
  • Personal Text
    Knock Knock
    • Death And Reality
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #19 on: November 04, 2013, 06:47:15 PM »


DW, the rotten orca was a nice plot twist as I was suspecting a dick to pop out of those panties.  :tongue:

 
Welllllll..........
 
As a few of you know, I spent a great deal of time in the US Navy, on my 3rd cruise, we pulled into Sri Lanka, picked up a little cutie in a bar, and every so often she would say, I have a problem."
 
My first time in this country mind you, I had been to the Phillipines, Thailand, Singapore and Hong Kong. (Before the bloody brits let China have it back)
 
No idea what she meant about a problem, though, cheap beer and rot gut whiskey had my mind marching to a beat of a different drum.
 
Got this little thing back to my hotel room, again she stated, "I have a problem." I stated, no problem, let's get naked.
 
Off came her panties.....out popped a willy..........I said...."I we have a problem".
 
Told her/he I was going down to get some more beer, instead, I went to the hotel lobby, paid my hotel bill and went straight back to the boat.
 
Problem solved.
 
Discovered from a ship mate who had been to Sri Lanka a few times, that when a bar girl (as they are called there) tells you they have a problem, they are telling you that they are in fact what are called benny boys. Transgenders.
 
I rode 3 other ships that put in at Sri Lanka......never stepped foot on their soil again, Arthur C. Clark can have the country all he likes.
 
And that's not even the worst that has ever happened to me.




DW

  • Head Cheese

  • Offline
  • *****
  • Master Baiter and

  • 11463
  • Personal Text
    I Don't Get Any
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #20 on: November 04, 2013, 07:11:53 PM »


DW, the rotten orca was a nice plot twist as I was suspecting a dick to pop out of those panties.  :tongue:

 
Welllllll..........
 
As a few of you know, I spent a great deal of time in the US Navy, on my 3rd cruise, we pulled into Sri Lanka, picked up a little cutie in a bar, and every so often she would say, I have a problem."
 
My first time in this country mind you, I had been to the Phillipines, Thailand, Singapore and Hong Kong. (Before the bloody brits let China have it back)
 
No idea what she meant about a problem, though, cheap beer and rot gut whiskey had my mind marching to a beat of a different drum.
 
Got this little thing back to my hotel room, again she stated, "I have a problem." I stated, no problem, let's get naked.
 
Off came her panties.....out popped a willy..........I said...."I we have a problem".
 
Told her/he I was going down to get some more beer, instead, I went to the hotel lobby, paid my hotel bill and went straight back to the boat.
 
Problem solved.
 
Discovered from a ship mate who had been to Sri Lanka a few times, that when a bar girl (as they are called there) tells you they have a problem, they are telling you that they are in fact what are called benny boys. Transgenders.
 
I rode 3 other ships that put in at Sri Lanka......never stepped foot on their soil again, Arthur C. Clark can have the country all he likes.
 
And that's not even the worst that has ever happened to me.





 
Purty little mouth ya got there.....I like gummers.  :munch:
I tried being anorexic once,

I could binge like a motherfucker, but I just could'nt do the purge part.

DW

  • Head Cheese

  • Offline
  • *****
  • Master Baiter and

  • 11463
  • Personal Text
    I Don't Get Any
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #21 on: November 04, 2013, 07:12:54 PM »
Why don't you slip them dentures out and rock my world...... :demented:
I tried being anorexic once,

I could binge like a motherfucker, but I just could'nt do the purge part.

DeathsDoor

  • Über Admin

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 32525
  • Personal Text
    Knock Knock
    • Death And Reality
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #22 on: November 04, 2013, 07:23:33 PM »
Why don't you slip them dentures out and rock my world...... :demented:




Fuck Off

  • Tech Admin

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 7737
  • Personal Text
    if (like avatar) { echo "Click Globe Below"; }
    • If you like my avatar...
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #23 on: November 04, 2013, 10:46:03 PM »


DW, the rotten orca was a nice plot twist as I was suspecting a dick to pop out of those panties.  :tongue:

Welllllll..........
 
As a few of you know, I spent a great deal of time in the US Navy, on my 3rd cruise, we pulled into Sri Lanka, picked up a little cutie in a bar, and every so often she would say, I have a problem."
 
My first time in this country mind you, I had been to the Phillipines, Thailand, Singapore and Hong Kong. (Before the bloody brits let China have it back)
 
No idea what she meant about a problem, though, cheap beer and rot gut whiskey had my mind marching to a beat of a different drum.
 
Got this little thing back to my hotel room, again she stated, "I have a problem." I stated, no problem, let's get naked.
 
Off came her panties.....out popped a willy..........I said...."I we have a problem".
 
Told her/he I was going down to get some more beer, instead, I went to the hotel lobby, paid my hotel bill and went straight back to the boat.
 
Problem solved.
 
Discovered from a ship mate who had been to Sri Lanka a few times, that when a bar girl (as they are called there) tells you they have a problem, they are telling you that they are in fact what are called benny boys. Transgenders.
 
I rode 3 other ships that put in at Sri Lanka......never stepped foot on their soil again, Arthur C. Clark can have the country all he likes.
 

And that's not even the worst that has ever happened to me.

Now that solves the mystery why Arthur C. Clark likes it there so much....
Just after reading that again.
I see the poetic and surreal undertones of my statement about gays as symbolic metaphore to current society.
In which we all got an arm shoved upon our precious arses....

feral07


  • Offline
  • *****

  • 585
  • Personal Text
    Not enough room to write what I want..
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #24 on: November 04, 2013, 11:48:06 PM »
I've had a few near misses........surprised that a few of them didn't put me off all together.


Spill it DW I've got my sunglasses........(personal quote)
In my head... There's some shelves that need cleaning from basement to ceiling.

Sativa Elita


  • Offline
  • *

  • 4
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #25 on: August 04, 2015, 08:00:33 AM »
Well. Way more times than I would like to remember.

DW

  • Head Cheese

  • Offline
  • *****
  • Master Baiter and

  • 11463
  • Personal Text
    I Don't Get Any
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #26 on: August 04, 2015, 03:17:37 PM »
Well. Way more times than I would like to remember.


Oh do tell......... :excited:
I tried being anorexic once,

I could binge like a motherfucker, but I just could'nt do the purge part.

Fuck Off

  • Tech Admin

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 7737
  • Personal Text
    if (like avatar) { echo "Click Globe Below"; }
    • If you like my avatar...
SM666 Sex Advertisement - Men Now 25% Discount!
« Reply #27 on: April 07, 2016, 11:26:52 PM »


And as far as cuming to soon, hell nah! Has never happened to me. I'll give a couple of pumps if i'm really excited before i shoot, but never premature.


Hours of fucking one ASS? WUT ? Ahh no. I'll give ya 30 minutes or less, after that i'm spurtin all over ya back, mouth, mantitties, armpit's, hair, toes, feet, crack, eye and everything else. Most time i ever spent up inside the stink was 2 hours. And that was in my late 20's. Ain't happening now.


Ya either get off when i do or you get lost,  :munch:




AWESOME DEAL!


Can we also buy giftcards? :excited:
Just after reading that again.
I see the poetic and surreal undertones of my statement about gays as symbolic metaphore to current society.
In which we all got an arm shoved upon our precious arses....

bonajazz

  • a Moderator

  • Online
  • *****

  • 4064
  • Personal Text
    Pfffttt...
Re: Worst sex you have ever had....
« Reply #28 on: April 10, 2016, 03:06:11 AM »
The worst sex I ever had is:


ny sex that I wanted to have, but never got to partake of...



I have a special place in my heart for redheads........ so fucking hot :)