Sick and funny jokes

  • 270 Replies
  • 33704 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline DW

    *
  • Head Cheese
  • *****
  • Master Baiter and
  • Posts: 11532
  • I Don't Get Any
« Reply #210 on: May 11, 2013, 01:51:18 AM »
What's the difference between an old whore and a young whore?
 
A young whore uses Vaseline......
 
An old whore uses Dentugrip........... :demented:
I tried being anorexic once,

I could binge like a motherfucker, but I just could'nt do the purge part.

Offline DeathsDoor

    *
  • Über Admin
  • *****
  • Posts: 32840
  • Gender: Male
  • Knock Knock
    • Death And Reality
« Reply #211 on: May 11, 2013, 07:46:07 AM »
Boooooooo
I tried to commit suicide one time...

I won't be trying that again I nearly fucking died.

Offline DW

    *
  • Head Cheese
  • *****
  • Master Baiter and
  • Posts: 11532
  • I Don't Get Any
« Reply #212 on: May 11, 2013, 01:57:02 PM »
I tried being anorexic once,

I could binge like a motherfucker, but I just could'nt do the purge part.

Offline Eat Sack

    *
  • *
  • Banned
  • Posts: 0
  • Gender: Male
    • GHEY
« Reply #213 on: May 19, 2013, 11:19:38 AM »
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
 
 He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
 
 Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
 
 Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
 
 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
 
 'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'
 
 The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
 
 'Moses,' replied the bird.
 
 'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
 
 'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'


I'm A Freaking Cry Baby When I don't Get My Way

Offline Harley

    *
  • *
  • So Fucking Banned, It's Not Even Funny
  • Posts: 0
  • Gender: Male
  • Cocksucker Extraordinaire
« Reply #214 on: May 19, 2013, 11:24:44 AM »
Lol ^^^
I'm off sucking Pizza Boys ass, I would suck his cock but I can't Get Eat Shit And Die off of it.

Offline DeathsDoor

    *
  • Über Admin
  • *****
  • Posts: 32840
  • Gender: Male
  • Knock Knock
    • Death And Reality
« Reply #215 on: May 19, 2013, 08:25:03 PM »
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
 
 He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
 
 Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
 
 Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
 
 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
 
 'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'
 
 The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
 
 'Moses,' replied the bird.
 
 'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
 
 'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'




I tried to commit suicide one time...

I won't be trying that again I nearly fucking died.

Offline DW

    *
  • Head Cheese
  • *****
  • Master Baiter and
  • Posts: 11532
  • I Don't Get Any
« Reply #216 on: May 19, 2013, 09:19:53 PM »






Deathsdoor and his triple ripple vibrating buttplug.......more movement than a swiss watch.
I tried being anorexic once,

I could binge like a motherfucker, but I just could'nt do the purge part.

Offline DeathsDoor

    *
  • Über Admin
  • *****
  • Posts: 32840
  • Gender: Male
  • Knock Knock
    • Death And Reality
« Reply #217 on: May 19, 2013, 09:23:52 PM »






Deathsdoor and his triple ripple vibrating buttplug.......more movement than a swiss watch.


BUSTED!!!!!!!! :demented:
I tried to commit suicide one time...

I won't be trying that again I nearly fucking died.

Offline DW

    *
  • Head Cheese
  • *****
  • Master Baiter and
  • Posts: 11532
  • I Don't Get Any
« Reply #218 on: May 19, 2013, 09:28:16 PM »
There once was a Deathsdoor from Nantucket,
 
Who's dick was so long he could suck it,
 
He said with a grin,
 
As he wiped his spermed chin.....
 
"If my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it......."
 
I tried being anorexic once,

I could binge like a motherfucker, but I just could'nt do the purge part.

Offline DeathsDoor

    *
  • Über Admin
  • *****
  • Posts: 32840
  • Gender: Male
  • Knock Knock
    • Death And Reality
« Reply #219 on: May 19, 2013, 09:31:20 PM »
There once was a Deathsdoor from Nantucket,
 
Who's dick was so long he could suck it,
 
He said with a grin,
 
As he wiped his spermed chin.....
 
"If my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it......."
 



I tried to commit suicide one time...

I won't be trying that again I nearly fucking died.

Offline DeathsDoor

    *
  • Über Admin
  • *****
  • Posts: 32840
  • Gender: Male
  • Knock Knock
    • Death And Reality
« Reply #220 on: May 22, 2013, 03:12:45 PM »

I was surprised that the tornado was able to cause so much damage in Oklahoma.


I thought someone would have just shot it.
I tried to commit suicide one time...

I won't be trying that again I nearly fucking died.

Offline SM666

    *
  • Sorcerer's Apprentice
  • *****
  • Dark Cunnilingus Lord Of Hairy Mount Venus
  • Posts: 15473
  • Gender: Male
  • HardGore Extremist
« Reply #221 on: May 22, 2013, 03:15:41 PM »

I was surprised that the tornado was able to cause so much damage in Oklahoma.


I thought someone would have just shot it.



Offline DeathsDoor

    *
  • Über Admin
  • *****
  • Posts: 32840
  • Gender: Male
  • Knock Knock
    • Death And Reality
« Reply #222 on: May 22, 2013, 03:21:10 PM »

I was surprised that the tornado was able to cause so much damage in Oklahoma.


I thought someone would have just shot it.





I tried to commit suicide one time...

I won't be trying that again I nearly fucking died.

Offline SM666

    *
  • Sorcerer's Apprentice
  • *****
  • Dark Cunnilingus Lord Of Hairy Mount Venus
  • Posts: 15473
  • Gender: Male
  • HardGore Extremist
« Reply #223 on: May 22, 2013, 03:46:55 PM »
Why do Black people smell?
So the blind can hate them too.

Offline DW

    *
  • Head Cheese
  • *****
  • Master Baiter and
  • Posts: 11532
  • I Don't Get Any
« Reply #224 on: May 23, 2013, 06:21:00 AM »
Why do Black people smell?
So the blind can hate them too.

I tried being anorexic once,

I could binge like a motherfucker, but I just could'nt do the purge part.